Friday, March 25, 2011


You decide to explore some more, you want to get a better feel for the area you've found yourself in.

"Well okay, I can take you to some sweet spots for klop hunting!" suggests Sledge.
"What's a 'klop?'" asks Tootie.
"Oh, you wait and see! Get your weapons ready!"

You and Tootie follow Sledge, excited to hunt some klop, whatever they may be. You walk for 10 minutes when Sledge stops you.

"Shhh... there they are."

Sledge indicates a group of large monstrous creatures up ahead. Klop, you assume. The creatures seem reptilian, with spikes flaring outwards along their spines, similar to a stegosaurus. They walk on all fours and are about the size of a potbelly big. Upon further inspection, the creature's necks lead only to one large eyeball where a head would be. Rather than a mouth, there are two thin "trunks" hanging under their eyeballs. They are using the trunks to search for and suck up mold off the floor for nutrients.

"They're pretty much harmless, which is why we hunt them," explains Sledge. "You guys in for some savage, inhumane violence towards defenseless animals? I know they don't look very appetizing but believe me, looks are deceiving."

While initially disgusted by the idea of eating such horrible looking animals, the curiosity quickly wins you over. You, Tootie and Sledge charge towards the tribe of klop. You and Tootie are having a ball chasing down and landing hits on the creatures. You are caught off guard by just how nimble Sledge is proving himself to be; he is effortlessly smashing klop eyeballs with his miniature sledgehammer.

Twenty minutes pass, all the klop who remain alive have fled into buildings and alleyways. The three of you gather your spoils towards the middle of the street. You and Tootie work on starting a fire while Sledge methodically butchers the klop-meat into more manageable slices in preparation of a feast.

Your fire finally gets going, Sledge begins to roast the klop-meat.

"So lemme ask you something, Sledge," asks Tootie in between bites of the undercooked meat of a one-eyed dinosaur-like creature. "Why is the word 'King' the only word capitalized in all these posters all over the walls? He like your 'God' or somethin'?"
"He's pretty much a god in our society. Our town believes the King is a benevolent force, ever present in our daily lives. Though I, too, praised the King, I never personally bought into this ideology to such an extreme. Most of town is more than willing to die for him." Sledge begins to hang his head. "I remember when I would, too. But those days are gone now, he's made me look like a fool and essentially made my decision to leave town for me. My old life as a Duttonite is long-gone..."
You tell Sledge to cheer up, that he's better off hanging out and getting into all sorts of unpredictable antics with you and Tootie.
"Yeah, I guess it's not all that bad."

Sledge stops eating his klop-meat and begins looking into the distance very observantly.

"Check it out, a Marconian tribe!" whispers Sledge, excitedly. "I thought they were a myth!"
"Marconian?" asks Tootie. "You wanna explain?"
"Back when Dutton initially formed we had two main classes of workers, those who preferred to gather food and those who would rather work around the compound. About 5 years ago the King decided that the girls would work around the compound while the boys go out and do the hunting. People were very upset by this decision to strip our right to choose what work we'd like to do, but most people fell in line due to blind loyalty. There was, however, a group of girls that defected and left Dutton for the wilds on their own, they are the Marconians. They hate the King, obviously with good reason."

The Marconians approach you.

"Keep your guard up," warns Sledge. "The Marconian's are said to kill males on sight."

You draw your weapons.

"Whoa, we mean no harm!" screams one of the Marconian girls, frightened. "Please, withdraw your weapons. We just smelled klop-meat and thought we'd trade for some."


Trade them some klop-meat. They have some silver pieces, a good deal of batteries and several cans of corned beef.

Offer them klop-meat free of charge.


Ask them what they know about surrounding towns.

Ask them to aid you in going to war with the King.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


You slowly open the door, revealing a staircase. You inch down the stairs.

There are 2 kids, about 13 years old, and one larger kid, about 15 and wearing a mask. They are surrounding one child in a corner, about 12 years old, and are taking turns lashing him with leather belts.

In between whippings the child screams for the others to stop. "I don't deserve this!" he bellows through a mouthful of blood.

"The King has already decided, you are to be tortured and left to bleed for your crimes against us."

"We need to stop this," whispers Tootie, "the more I hear about the King the more I want to personally break each of his fingers, one by one." You feel the same.

Tootie presents a smoke grenade. You assume he got it while looting the children's corpses earlier in the day. He activates it and lobs it towards the corner.

"FIRE!" yells one of the kids. They begin to flee towards the staircase where you and Tootie await with your weapons drawn. You step over the fresh corpses of the 3 teenagers, grab their prisoner and carry him out of the smoke-engulfed basement.

"He's in bad shape," worries Tootie. "We oughta crack open some of these beans, the kid has probably been starved."

You use your hunting knife to open up two cans of beans and a can of imitation crabmeat. The child is slowly waking up but is hesitant to place his trust with you after all he's been through. You offer him food, he accepts.

"I...I want to thank you guys for what you did back there. This whole place has been fucked lately."

You ask his name.

"My name is Resendiz, but everybody in town calls me Sledge."

"How did this place get like this? Why is the smog so thick?" asks Tootie.

"Well I don't know so much about the history, Dutton has been filled with smog since I was born. Generally everybody does their part for the community here, we hunt for food from shops like these and contribute it to the communal food stash, controlled by the King. That scumbag. He used to be a fair and noble leader, but lately something has come over him. I didn't bow my head when he was about 100 feet away and they took me in for it. I didn't even realize he was there, I was out on a hunt!"

You ask why they call him Sledge.

"Because of this bad boy..." He presents a miniature sledgehammer. "My weapon of choice, it took 8 other kids to take me down when I was taken prisoner for my 'crimes against the state'."

Tootie asks about the absence of adults and girls.

"Well the girls all stay in Dutton's compound, they do all of the thinking work for us, mostly community planning. Only guys go out for supply hunting, we're better built for it. Adults, though, have been banished from Dutton. At age 17 they are exiled from town. At that point they're over the hill, and anyway they always try to infringe on our rights, so we're better off without 'em."

Tootie interrupts, "What about the King? How old is he?"

"Nobody knows how old the King is, but as far as leaders go he was once as great as they come. He founded our town long ago, he's ageless. He's stayed 16 years old since I was born!"

"I think the King probably just has a growth disorder..." mumbles Tootie.

"Well I wouldn't know anything about that, but lately he's changed. It's like something has come over him and everybody else in town is just blindly following his newfound aggression. I may as well just leave right now, I'll be exiled in 5 years anyway."

You invite Sledge to join you and Tootie on your journey. He seems like a capable companion and has a lot of knowledge to offer on this town and its surrounding areas.

"Definitely! Beats the sure death that awaits me once I leave Dutton. Where were you guys heading anyway?"


Suggest finding and taking down the King, fighting for justice and the well-being of the children being mistreated by his regime.

Explore the "urban wilds" surrounding Dutton for a while longer, do some more looting, maybe kill some more children. You can always take the King down later.

Ask about surrounding towns, look to explore the vast wasteland that awaits you.


"Surrender any weapons you may have on your person and put your hands up for a pat-down," says one of the older children, about 14 years old.

Hell if you're gonna take this nonsense from a bunch of kids, you refuse to go. Rather than trying to talk it out with the group you decide to simply wipe them out. You take out your pistol and immediately shoot the oldest child in the forehead, he collapses immediately. Some of the younger children flee, but others come charging towards you with their archaic weaponry.

They are no match for your pistol or Tootie's peak orangutan physique. Those children without bullet wounds or fatal blunt trauma to their heads lay on the floor unconscious. You notice one child, about 11 years old, trying to slither away unnoticed. You and Tootie make your way towards him, finishing off any other children on the floor who show the slightest sign of life.

Tootie grabs the child. "You, I will let live. Tell your King what happened here today. Tell him and the rest of your buddies to steer clear of Tootie or the lot of ya will be joining your brethren."

The child is still with fear.

"Did you get all that?"

The child manages a nod.

"Then get the fuck out of my face."

The child quickly runs away flailing his arms, crying.

You and Tootie commandeer some basic equipment from the children's corpses to aid your journey through the hellhole that is the year 2040. The two of you acquire leather jackets, yours from a "husky" child, first aid kits, heavy duty backpacks, gas masks and, most importantly, goggles.

You slide your new goggles and gas masks over your heads and take off to explore.

There are faded posters on the walls with sayings like Honor Work and The King Will Free You. All else besides the immensely polluted air and crumbling buildings seem normal.

Tootie starts to get hungry and suggests looting the next grocery store you find for the possibility of canned goods. You feel okay, but you do love the idea of "looting" so you agree.

You come upon a gas station mart. The door is locked, Tootie wraps his fist in a towel and breaks open the window with his ape-might. Even though you considered leaving him for dead initially and were on verge of putting a bullet in his head not long after, you two are actually starting to get along. All that was before he was super-adorable.

You come upon a great deal of canned kidney beans and imitation crabmeat. You decide to stock up, who knows how long it'll be before you come upon a stash this great?

Back in your time, cashiers would try to charge you money for a backpack full of canned kidney beans and imitation crabmeat. Not in the year 2040 though. In the year 2040 all the cashiers were dead, you guess.

From behind a door labeled "Employees Only", you hear the screams of a child in that awkward stage during puberty where their voice is in the process of developing, but still cracks constantly. You and Tootie walk up to the door and hold your ear to it.

"This is what you get for disrespecting the King like you did! At first sight of him you are to stop what you're doing and bow!"

Tootie wants to help the prisoner. "The 'King' is about to have somebody killed down there! The enemy of our enemy is our friend, right? We've gotta go down there!"

You hear his scream again, "No. NO! NOOOOO!"

"I won't let you leave without helping this kid," demands Tootie


Kick down the door, guns and orangutan ablaze, in order to rescue the child with the cracking voice. After today's slaughter you're feeling pretty confident in your capabilities.

Sneak in and observe the situation for a little longer, carefully deciding when to make your move.

Monday, March 21, 2011


Although you disagree with Tootie politically, you still don't want him dead. You believe that life is precious, so in an effort to keep from having to kill a man you suggest torturing him to extract intelligence on the Tippy Dappel.

"This is a wonderful idea, you are true leadership material," says Roscoe. He walks towards Tootie to rip off the chrome duct tape covering his mouth.

As Roscoe steps towards Tootie, opportunity presents itself. Communism is great and all, but imagine all the things you could demand if you were able to hold Roscoe hostage! You wrap your arm around Roscoe's neck and hold your gun up to his temple. The guards quickly aim their guns at you but are hesitant to shoot anywhere near Roscoe's direction; without him the entire Ticka Wicky operation is kaput.

You lay out a list of demands: inconspicuous weapons, inconspicuous armor, a means of time traveling, but most importantly, the trained orangutan you saw on the way to Tootie's room.

They are quick to comply, anything for the well-being of Supreme-Leader Roscoe.

You are given a handgun, a hunting knife with a holster that straps to your leg, a bulletproof vest, a watch that enables you to travel through time and one well-trained orangutan to accompany you on your time-traveling journey.

You haven't a clue how the watch works, but you have always prided yourself as a "techie" and refuse to ask for a tutorial or read the manual. The orangutan indicates that he knows how the watch works. Well-trained was certainly an understatement.

You realize that if you are going to travel into the future where Roscoe has succeeded in instilling a global communist takeover, then odds are you are going to be an enemy of the state. Knowing that this wouldn't be in your best interest, just before letting your orangutan initiate the time warp you put a bullet in Roscoe's head.

So much for life being precious.

It makes a much bigger mess than you thought it would. The guards let loose, firing an array of bullets towards you, but it is too late, you have initiated the time warp and are on your way to the year 2040. To choose that year seemed arbitrary, because it was. After all, an orangutan made the decision.

In the process of your hostage situation, Tootie had also managed to free his hands from the chrome rope that bound them. In an effort to follow you, he initiates his time traveling watch as well, also to the arbitrary year of 2040.

The time-warp is an absolutely horrifying place. You see things outside of the realm of comprehension, things that could not possibly be put into words, so you don't bother trying to do so.

You finally arrive with your orangutan buddy in what seems to be an abandoned city. The air is so thick with smog you can taste it, you put your shirt over your mouth and nose in order to breathe.

Your orangutan buddy finally starts to gather himself. "Wow, that was a lot more intense than usual."

You freak out for a moment, as does he.

"What the... God damnit, I guess it was bound to happen eventually."

You are dumbfounded by your talking monkey friend.

"It's me, you idiot!"

You recognize the voice, it's Tootie. Something to do with the time space continuum that you don't understand must have switched their minds. You notice that Tootie's actual body is on the floor right next to you, the smog must have initially distracted you from this. Tootie's former human body wakes up, is startled and runs away screaming like an orangutan would. You figure it'll all work itself out in the end, and if not then you have a talking orangutan to be your good friend, so no complaints.

"While I appreciate you not shooting me int he head, were you really going to side with communism?" asks Tootie the lovable orangutan.

You hear whispers in the distance.

"What was that?" says Tootie, through his adorable monkey mouth.

"NOW!" yells a child's voice.

You are suddenly surrounded by a group of about twenty leather-clad children, ranging from ages 8-14. They are wearing goggles and covered in filth. The younger children are brandishing spears.

"Come with us peacefully and there will be no need for trouble, our King will be absolutely ecstatic to see you."


Attempt to use diplomacy to politely decline their "invitation" and use violence only as a last resort.

Use violence as your first resort by using your concealed weapons and Tootie's newfound naturally immense orangutan strength to beat up and potentially kill a large group of children.

Comply with the group of children and meet their King. He may have valuable information about the area and there's still plenty of time to resort to violence.