Thursday, March 17, 2011


You ask in a friendly tone who is calling in order to not raise any suspicions.

"My name is Roscoe, however who I am is not important. Tootie Carbunkle is not who you think he is."

Tootie's facial expression goes from distraught and heartbroken to serious and deadpan within seconds. It's as if he knows who you are speaking with, like he foresaw this exact moment.

"Who is on the phone, friend?" says Tootie. "Do you need me to take care of it for you?"

Your attempts at subtlety are not working, Tootie is clearly on to you.

"You need to leave your apartment, meet me in the abandoned blanket factory on Ruckers Avenue," the mystery man beckons. "Carbunkle is a merciless machine, he will not stop until he gets what he wants."

The phone cuts off.

The room is silent and tense, you and Tootie staring at each other. You consider confronting Tootie about the phone call but quickly change your mind. You calmly suggest leaving for some breakfast.

"Can I borrow your phone? I need to make a phone call.

You tell Tootie that you guys need to leave right away; you're really hungry.

"I'll be real quick don't worry a bi-" Tootie grabs you by the arm but you slip away. You bolt out the door, Tootie chasing you.

You are making a break for the old blanket factory on Ruckers, about 6 blocks away. Despite having outrun Tootie initially, he shows no signs of slowing down. You are in desparate need of catching your breath.

"You don't know what you're doing!" he yells. "Roscoe is manipulating you!"

Tootie eventually catches up to you and tackles you to the floor, about a block short of the blanket factory.

He picks you up from the ground and holds you against the brick wall with a great deal of force. The street is empty.

"I guess it's time for me to come clean. I am part of an interchronological police force called the T.P.D.A.P.L., Time Police Department of America for the Purpose of Liberty, generally called Tippy Dappel for short. I was sent here to protect you. If Roscoe and his dastardly organization get their hands on you they'll use you to turn the world into a global communist utopia! But we need you to fight for freedom and capitalist ideals, you see, you are the key to the future."

Realizing you are no longer struggling to get away, Tootie lets you down.

"Thirty years from now you single-handedly stop the communist take over. In order to stop you they devised a plan to come back in time, brainwash you and recruit you to their cause. To enact this plan they created the T.C.A.W.C.I., Time Cop Association for Worldwide Communist Installation, generally called Ticka Wicky for short."

You are speechless due to the information overload and frankly confused as to how these politically driven time traveling police forces were given such cutesy nick names.

"We need you now or the hope for our future is over."


Ask Tootie what you need to do to stop those commy bastards in their tracks. Life, Liberty, etc.

Make a break for the blanket factory. The free market is intrinsically vicious and unfair, power to the proletariat!


  1. i missed a few story elements so fuck it i say lets go to the blanket factory and get into some shit

  2. I want to go to the old blanket factory and get some old blankets! Preferably laced with smallpox. That's what I want to do.

  3. Knock out Tootie. Go to factory and lure Roscoe out, then kill him and take over his position. Play double agent and bring both systems down from the inside, then rule the world!

  4. If he was really on your side, Tootie would not have resorted to deceiving you/soiling your fucking towel and couch. I say go check out what Ticka Wicky is all about.

  5. Blanket factory. Best case - you get to the bottom of this situation, worst case - you get brain washed and become an intergral part of the communist revolution, so so case - plenty of old blankets!

  6. Communist utopia seems good. A utopia seems good.